


Dear Clarke

by Cassie_Bones



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Hamilton - Freeform, Clarke's are short and to the point, Correspondence AU, F/F, Lexa's are long and wordy and so extra, Little bit of angst, Slow Burn, Soldier AU, Start off as friends, They write letters to each other, Wartime AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 01:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7460580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassie_Bones/pseuds/Cassie_Bones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexandria "Lexa" Hamilton had trained for a large portion of her life to be in the military. When the time comes for her to finally be called to service, she chickens out of telling her best friend, Clarke Griffin, before she leaves, due to the recent loss of Clarke's father. Instead, she writes her a letter, which then begins their correspondence. </p>
<p>Letters between friends eventually turn into something much deeper as Lexa fights every day to keep living and to, hopefully, one day return to Clarke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a fan art of Lexa and Clarke in a kind of Revolutionary-esque drawing (probably inspired by Hamilton: An American Musical, which I've been obsessed with, though I am too poor to afford a ticket) and I thought about Lexa being a soldier in modern times and penning affectionate letters to her best friend back home. Obviously, this will become an eventual romance between the two, but I want to give it a little angst.
> 
> Lexa's last name is Hamilton, for reasons.

May 19

_Dear Clarke,_

_I wanted to tell you last week, I swear. I was going to tell you. I had a whole big plan set up and everything._

_We’d go to lunch, maybe have a midday drink or two. Then I’d suggest a walk through the park and we’d reminisce about school and our childhood (like that time you shoved Bellamy off the pier and Raven laughed so hard that she choked on a grape. Remember?) And we’d laugh and we’d be so happy. It would make it so much easier._

_But then you called and told me about your father and I just…I couldn’t do it._

_Instead, I held your hand at the wake, made sure you ate after the funeral, stayed up with you all night, watched the sunrise from your roof…but I couldn’t make myself tell you._

_I’m so sorry, Clarke. I’ll try to make my way home to you, no matter what. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me._

_(I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t.)_

_Sincerely,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

* * *

 

May 30

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_You are a coward._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

* * *

 

June 8

_Dear Clarke,_

_I am painfully aware of my own cowardice. As I sit here, I can hear explosions miles outside my own tent. We received minimal training before we were literally thrust into the middle of an active war zone. I’ve lost several of my comrades already and we haven’t even been here a month._

_Oddly, I do not fear death like the rest of my platoon. They worry about the pain and about meeting their gods too soon. They fear that their beliefs will be proven false._

_I, on the other hand, do not fear death itself. As you know, I believe in no gods; I hold few spiritual beliefs, and physical pain is but an inconvenience. My only regret would be leaving you. The only pain that I would find unbearable is yours. Your heartbreak far outweighs my own._

_I know this must seem rather conceited to you – to think that you would be so devastated by my demise – but I can’t help think that you might shed even a single tear over me and even that causes my chest to ache. So, it is for you that I stay alive as long as I possibly can here, in the hopes that one day I will return to you, my beloved friend._

_I hope that, when the time comes, my cowardice is easier for you to bear._

_May we meet again._

_Sincerely,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

* * *

 

June 17

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_If you die, I’ll kill you._ **

**_Please don’t._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

* * *

 

June 26

_Dear Clarke,_

_As short as your messages are, I’m happy that you’re at least responding to my letters. I know that this is a painfully archaic mode of communication (in the last month, I’ve received only three letters; two were from you. The other was from Raven and it was a handwritten instruction manual on how to make bombs out of toothpaste, gun powder, and fire. This would be easy to do if it weren’t for the scarcity of toothpaste here), but I enjoy having something to occupy my mind._

_Recent events at Camp Nightblood have made life rather difficult. Our electricity and water supply was cut off earlier this week, so we are without proper plumbing and we rely on a nearby well to keep us hydrated. Our water filtration system is, thankfully, adequate. We might not even get that much lead poisoning. We now dig holes in the ground to replace the useless latrines and, while unsanitary as it may be, we are content. We use scented candles from the city of Polis (our allies in the civil war) to mask the scent and act as our nightlights. They’re quite beautiful; I will send you some with my next letter._

_I hope you are well, Clarke, and that you are surrounded by your friends and family and their love and support during this difficult time._

_May we meet again._

_Sincerely,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

* * *

 

July 3

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_Enclosed is hopefully enough water, toilet paper, toothpaste, and matches to last your platoon until my next package. Please stay alive until then._ **

**_Your Friend,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

**_P.S. I’m doing fine. I’ve started drawing again. My mother spends more time at work, but that is to be expected. Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln keep me company most days. They say hello._ **

* * *

 

July 12

_Dear Clarke,_

_I’m glad to hear that you’re doing well. You have good friends._

_Thank you for the care package. It was well received by everybody here. We have rationed it so that it will last. Sadly, that became easier this week when we lost three of our own to a surprise attack. Azgeda grows closer and the Trigedan people are starting to evacuate. Perhaps it is for the best. Luckily, we were able to counter attack and they are now down about a dozen; but their troops far outnumber ours. It will take a lot more to win this war._

_Hopefully, I will be able to return to you soon._

_Until we meet again._

_Sincerely,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

_P.S. As you can probably see, I’ve enclosed two candles. They’re lavender-scented. They were gifts from the local candle merchant, who I’ve made friends with. Her name is Costia and she’s very kind._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke asks Lexa not to do it, so obviously Lexa does it anyway. Not on purpose, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me make this clear for you guys: THIS IS NOT A HAMILTON AU. It's inspired by the letter correspondence in Hamilton, yes, and Lexa's last name is Hamilton (her full name is Alexandria Hamilton, which I understand makes it more confusing), but this will not go or end the same way as the musical (which I am ironically listening to as I write this). I want to ease your mind and let you know now that Lexa is not going to die (twice was enough for this fandom). Note: there are no warnings for major character death and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon. 
> 
> There will, however, be some major angst to come soon enough.

July 18

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_I swear to God, if you die I am going to punch you so hard. You have a lot of people here that care about you over here. Don’t let them down._ **

**_I added hand sanitizer to your care package. Raven added the cookies and porn. Enjoy._ **

**_Your Friend,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

**_P.S. I’m happy that you made a new friend. Thank her for the candles; you were right, they smell fantastic. Stay alive._ **

* * *

 

July 31

_Dear Clarke,_

_I’m so glad that you liked the candles. Costia has been supplying us with as many as her finances allow. She refuses to take any money, though. She’s very odd, but good company._

_I haven’t been in any mortal damage since my last letter, but I suspect our next battle isn’t too far off. We’ve just received word that Azgeda is planning another attack and I find myself fearing more for the lives of my comrades than for my own._

_One, in particular, is Aden. He’s just arrived at a camp and he’s much younger than the rest of us here. He’s the youngest warrior I’ve ever seen be put on the front lines. He looks far too frail to be here at all, though. He’s skinny and short and I just…I worry more about his safety just walking around camp than my own in battle. I pray that he survives the attack._

_He’s just a baby, Clarke. I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect him or keep that hope in his eyes. He wants to fight, but he has no idea what it will do to him._

_Is it crazy of me to want to protect him from battle? After all, I was younger than him when I completed my own combat training and he had likely had to go through his own before his draft. But I can’t seem to help it. Clarke, please don’t be angry at me if I give my own life for the sake of his, because I wouldn’t regret it for a second._

_I have included three more candles with this message. I hope they find you well._

_Until we meet again._

_Your Friend,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

* * *

 

August 10

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_Keep Aden safe, but please do not be reckless with your own life. Anya needs you to return home._ **

**_So do I._ **

**_Your Friend,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

* * *

 

August 18

_Dear Clarke,_

_I’ve just received your letter and I find a few things to be quite ironic as I sit here and read it from the medical bay in Camp Nightblood._

_Before I tell you why, however, I must ask that you not be upset with me. Even though I know that is a ridiculous request (you’ve never made a promise that you couldn’t keep), it is important that you remember how alive and (relatively) well I am._

_As I mentioned in my previous letter, we received intelligence a while ago that Azgeda was planning an attack on Trigeda. That information proved true and we were able to meet their attack with practiced preparation, our defenses strong, and our army ready._

_Commander Gustus led us into battle (which we won, by the way; please remember that) and, while it lasted nearly a full two days, we came out victorious and with minimal casualties—and even fewer injuries._

_Aden is still alive and well. He has a scar on his left cheek now. He wears it with pride._

_I, on the other hand, continue to wince as I move and pull at the still-healing bullet wound in my abdomen. It’s not as bad as you think, though! The bullet hit no vital organs and only slightly fractured a single rib, which is healing quite nicely, actually._

_The medics have told me that I’m lucky. Lucky that nothing was pierced and that the bullet had been so close to the surface, rather than lodged so deep that it would have needed a surgical removal. As it was, they’d only needed to dig in a little with a pair of—well, they could be described as large tweezers, but that’s not what the medics called them._

_The important thing is that I’m okay. I’m healing here in the med bay (they have actual electricity here, powered by generators; it’s incredible) and Gustus refuses to let me back into the field until my wounds are completely healed. He’s a lot like you; protective and stubborn. Sometimes, he comes to sit with me and go over war strategies. He recently lost his second in battle, so I might be up for a promotion—if I ever get out of here. We fear that another attack is imminent._

_But I don’t want you to worry too much about me. I’m fine here. I have Aden, who visits me most mornings before training, and Costia, who comes to see me at night and brings me more candles (which she swears has healing properties). And I have Commander Gustus, who drops by whenever he can so that I don’t feel so useless here._

_But enough about me._

_How are things at home? How is your mother? And Raven? (Please thank her for the cookies; I haven’t so much as touched the adult magazine yet, nor will I.) And Octavia and Lincoln? Has he proposed yet? I know that he was planning to for a while; I hope my departure hasn’t delayed that. Have you drawn or painted anything lately? I would love a photograph of it if you can manage? My tent walls were always so drab and my bed at the med bay is no different. It would be nice to have something beautiful to look at. I’ve always loved your art._

_I hope you are doing well, Clarke, and that you’re not too worried about me._

_Until we meet again._

_Your Friend,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is such an extra hoe, isn't she?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa trade some art and pictures. There's a little angst and some revelation.

August 29

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_I’m seriously going to kill you when you get home._ **

**_Stop. Getting. Shot._ **

**_I know it’s a lot to ask of you, being in a war and all, but goddammit, you’re going to give ~~me~~ Anya a heart attack. Just stay safe, alright?_ **

**_Things are fine here, for the most part._ **

**_My mother works as many hours per week as she is allowed and then sleeps on the couch when she’s home. I don’t think she’s even touched her bed since…you know. I have to force her to eat and shower but she’s doing the best she can, given the circumstances. Dad’s birthday was last week, so it’s been rough._ **

**_Raven is Raven. Being an asshole and blowing shit up—same old, same old. She says hello and you’re welcome._ **

**_Lincoln proposed on the Fourth of July. It was very romantic; there were fireworks in the background and they had to scream to hear each other. Octavia said yes, obviously. Still, she’s waiting for you to come home before she sets a date for the wedding, because she wants you to be a bridesmaid (I’m the Maid of Honor, btw; Raven’s mad)._ **

**_Lincoln says hi and to hurry home so he can finally marry the love of his life. O says ditto. They’re so gross._ **

**_I’ve sent one of my most recent paintings. It’s of the sunrise from my rooftop. I remember our last night together before you left without a word (yes, I’m still mad). I remember my head against your shoulder and your hand in mine and just silence. It was so quiet up there, like we were alone in the entire world. It was nice._ **

**_Anyway, I woke up pretty early the other day and couldn’t go back to sleep so I watched the sunrise again. It felt somehow different this time. Maybe because I was alone. I snapped a photo and spent most of that day painting it. It’s not my best, but I hope you like it. It should add some color to your bed, at least._ **

**_Stay alive._ **

**_Your Friend,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

**_P.S. I’ve started to forget what you look like. Obviously I have pictures and stuff on my phone, but it’s been three months; you’ve most likely changed by now. Do you think you could send me a more recent photo?_ **

****

September 7

_Dear Clarke,_

_You really must stop threatening me with physical violence. These letters are screened. You could get in real trouble (you’re likely already on a watch list, to be honest)._

_(By the way, thank Raven for the porn she sent. Again. People are beginning to think that I’m some kind of pervert.)_

_I will try to stay safe. I’m still in the med bay, recovering. Gustus has sworn he will make me his second as soon as I’m cleared for battle. It still hurts to stretch too much, but I’m healing._

_Aden and Costia continue to visit. The latter comes more often as she recently had to close down her candle shop, indefinitely. More than half of Trigeda has evacuated and the rest are their own troops in volunteers in the med bay. Costia continues to supply our troops with candles (there is still no electricity back at camp) and she visits me as often as she can. I have to wonder why, when she could have left Trigeda for safer pastures._

_I’m very happy for Lincoln and Octavia, but tell them not to wait for me. I can’t guarantee that this war will be over anytime soon and they shouldn’t have to postpone their happy day for me. I’m sending a few candles as a wedding gift; I hope Octavia likes them._

_Also, give your mom a hug from me. Abby has always been kind to me and she deserves to be happy after all she’s been through. You do, too, Clarke._

_I was able to locate an instant camera in the med bay. The nurses use them to catalogue injuries and they were nice enough to give me one photo to send to you. At the time, Aden was there and insisted on being in it with me. He’s such a goof, Clarke; you would really like him. I don’t look so different, I don’t think. Just a little banged up from my last battle, but that’s to be expected. My hair is a little frizzier from the humidity over here. But, all in all, I look pretty much the same._

_I hope it is to your satisfaction._

_Until we meet again._

_Your Friend,_

_Alexandria Hamilton_

September 14

**_Dear Lexa,_ **

**_It’s not a threat; it’s a promise._ **

**_Raven is sitting next to me right now, smiling like the asshole she is. She insists that porn is a necessity in the war since fraternizing with your fellow soldiers is frowned upon and, I quote: “It’s probably a total sausage fest over there, anyway. A gay girl like Lex has to have some hot chicks to look at…respectfully.”_ **

**_Remind me why we’re friends with her again?_ **

**_BECAUSE I AM THE BEST_ ** **_ß Raven_ **

**_Am I allowed to trade her for a puppy?_ **

**_RUDE_ ** **_ß Raven_ **

**_If you’re his second, then you better have damn good armor. If you get shot again, there will seriously be nothing to keep me from flying into an active warzone and kicking your ass in front of your entire platoon. Then you won’t look so tough to Azgeda, will you?_ **

**_(For anybody reading this that’s not Lexa: I’m just kidding. Mostly.)_ **

**_Aden is adorable. I showed his picture to Octavia and she is sending a care package for him (and for you). I think I may have seen a gigantic roll of bubble wrap. God knows what that’s for, but be aware that O does not mess around with her care packages._ **

**_With this letter, I sent a camera with some instant film so you can take photos to reassure ~~me~~ Anya that you’re still alive and well. NO MORE GUNSHOT WOUNDS LEXA._ **

**_What’s up with your neck, by the way?_ **

**_Octavia agreed to set a date for the wedding, but it’s over a year away. She still wants to give you a little time to come home, because she’s so fucking stubborn. Even as I write this, she’s reminding me to tell you that your better get your ass home in once piece because she will_ not _be stuck with her third cousin Becky as a bridesmaid. She misses you, really._**

**_Thank Costia for me, for keeping your reckless ass occupied and keeping us all stocked with these awesome candles. Also, I think she likes you, Lexa, you big clueless walnut._ **

**_Mom says hi and she sends her love, just like everybody else here. Anya wants me to remind you to “go for the head”, like she taught you. She still wishes she could be right there with you. So do I…_ **

**_Stay alive, Lex._ **

**_Your Friend,_ **

**_Clarke Griffin_ **

****

September 24

_Dear Clarke,_

_They’ve stopped screening my letters, apparently. As long as I don’t give you any info about what’s going on here, in regards to strategies and whatnot, they don’t really care._

_You can tell Raven that there are just as many female soldiers here as there are male and that, while it’s not exactly allowed, there are many amorous connections made here. A good friend of mine, Lieutenant Miller, has been meeting with a local—a man named Bryan—who volunteers at the med bay. They make a cute couple._

_We’re friends with Raven because she knows how to hack into most Wifi networks and we’ve never had to pay fines for going over our data plans. Also because she has kept your Jurassic-era Jeep out of the junkyard more than once. She’s the only reason that thing is still running. (Please buy a new car; I’m worried more for your safety than my own and that says a lot.)_

_RAVEN: STOP SENDING ME PORN. IT’S MAKING THINGS WEIRD NOW THAT I’M BACK AT CAMP. Please continue to send cookies, though. They’re amazing._

_I’ve been out of the med bay for a week now and we haven’t had any major battles or attacks. Three months, I would have taken that as a good sign, but now I know better. It’s too quiet around here. Everybody is tense. That’s all I can tell you._

_Please don’t come here. Not that I don’t think you could definitely kick my ass (I will never admit that in front of anybody in my platoon, by the way), but Azgeda will do anything to make us surrender. They’ve already taken several hostages. Thankfully, Costia has taken up residence at camp._

_You were right, by the way; she does like me. We’re taking things understandably slow, though. It’s nice having her around, but I need to focus. Gustus doesn’t approve of our relationship, but there’s not much he can do about it, short of removing me from his service (which I am certain he would not do). There’s not too much room or time for romance here and, thankfully, Costia understands that._

_Aden received his care package and spent nearly an hour rolling on the bubble wrap with Costia. They’re such children, but it’s actually kind of adorable. Thank you for the camera, by the way. I used some of the film to take a photo of them and it’s now taped next to my bed. I would send it to you, but I’d rather keep it right here. I did, however, send you another picture of both me and Costia together. I figured you’d want to see the person that’s been sending you all those candles. She would actually like a photo of you (the only one I have is of us when we were six, at summer camp. Remember?) It would be great if you could send a more recent one of yourself._

_Again, I cannot promise that I won’t be shot again. Active warzone and all. I’ll try my hardest. On my neck is a new tattoo. It’s to signify my position as second in command to Commander Gustus. By the way, my title is now Lieutenant Alexandria Hamilton; impressed?_

_Let me know the exact date so I can try my hardest to win the war by then (or, at the very least) arrange for a live feed. The med bay has a camera and we’ll hopefully have electricity at the camp by then. Maybe I can still be there…in spirit. I don’t know._

_I’m sending more candles for everybody. Costia insists on it. Tell Abby that I love her and I hope she’s doing well. Same for everybody. Tell Anya to stop worrying; she taught me well._

_Stay well, Clarke._

_Until we meet again._

_Your Friend,_

_Lt. Alexandria Hamilton_

 

[Clarke's Painting](http://cassiebones.tumblr.com/image/147377491472)

[Aden and Lexa](http://cassiebones.tumblr.com/image/147377556477)

[Costia](http://cassiebones.tumblr.com/image/147377687477)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew all the pictures and I want to let y'all know that I'm not much of a visual artist. If somebody wants to send me links to costia fanart that they like, I'd love to look at it, but this is how I headcanoned her to look. At least in my modern day fic. She probably looked a lot more bad ass in the canon world.

**Author's Note:**

> ;-)


End file.
